>Be Anon in RGRE.
>Turned out you’re something of a “reverse trap” here.
>Mares had dude-like voices, and stallions sounded like sissies.
>You had a deep, manly voice that made you sound like the equivalent of [spoiler]Benedickticus Cumdertumpster[/spoiler] to the ponies.
>You also carried yourself like a mare, wore clothing, and you did’t smell much like a pony.
>It took you a while to adapt because you kept mistaking stallions for mares [spoiler]and ‘das gay, mongoloid[/spoiler].
>But after a while you’d kind of gotten used to how things worked.
>You’d successfully convinced yourself that mares were cool chicks with husky voices, and stallions were annoying valley girls.
>You still weren’t particularly happy about the situation, though.
>”C’mon, dude, you could have any stallion you want!”, Rainbow said. ”I just don’t get why you’re still single. Even Twilight managed to find someone.”
>You sipped your ponycola.
“I told you, I’m a guy.”
>You’d told the ponies many times that you were actually a guy.
>You weren’t exactly sure why they had such a hard time getting that into their heads, but you guessed their gender roles were so hardwired in their minds that they couldn’t help seeing you as a big sister no matter how much you protested.
>It probably didn’t help that your big ol’ mantits were the envy of every mare in Ponyville.
>”You can’t seriously tell me that doesn’t do anything for you.” She pointed at Thunderlane’s balls.
“I like mares.”
>”Oh! Look! There goes Creme Brulee! I’d like to taste his creme, if you know what I mean.”
“I’d like to drink your pussy juice if you know what I mean.”
>”Don’t be gay, Anon. That’s disgusting.”, she said while her head was swivelling around. A second later she spotted another target. “What about Pokey Pierce? I’ve rolled around with him a couple times, and his name’s the truth.”
“If I were gay I’d be entertaining your lunacy.”
>She looked at you with disappointment. “Are you just going to be a stick in the mud all day?”
“Not if you let me put my stick in your mud.”
>She took a moment to process what you’d said. “Eww, eww, eww!”
“That’s how I feel about stallions.”
>”You’re impossible.”
“And you’re incapable of understanding simple concepts.”
>”C’mon, I’m just trying to help a sis out.”
“Call me a sis one more time, you technicolor donkey.”
>”OK. You’re my best sis.”
>...
“You’re retarded.”
>She shrugged and lay down on the grass next to you.
>”Whatever, dude.”
>You leaned back and cloud watched with Rainbow for a while, happy for a reprieve from her attempts to set you up with some cock.
>If you had one thing in common with Rainbow, you were both thirsty as hell.
>You appreciated the spirit of her “help”, but it just frustrated you more.
>What you wouldn’t give to have a mare just sit on your face right now.
>You wouldn’t even care what she looked like, you just needed some poon in your life again.
>Such was the curse of thirst.
>You rolled your thoughts in your mind as the clouds passed over you until you saw one that gave you an idea.
>An evil idea.
“Say, Rains, what would you do if a stallion shoved his dick in your face?”
>”Probably suck him off right there. Why?”
“Oh, no reason.”
>You waited a couple minutes until you heard her start to snore again, and then you started rubbing your crotch furiously until you had a mighty chub.
>You unzipped your pants and pulled out your inflatable poo jabber and the juice crew.
>Quietly as you could you knelt over Rainbow and started rubbing your cock on her face.
>Gently at first, and then harder when she refused to wake up.
>”Wha-”
“Hey Rainbow, suck my dick. Suck it long, suck it hard.”
>”What the fuck, dude? Get your smelly cunt-”
>You slapped her snout as hard as you could with your cock.
“CALL IT A CUNT AGAIN, I GODDAMN TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU, YOU INBRED EXCUSE OF A MULE.”
>She violently struggled out from under you and dashed away before you could catch her.
“What? Is this not good enough for you? Now you’re picky? I saw you give Hayseed a tugjob the other day!”
>But it was too late. She’d flown away while you were ranting.
>...
“God fucking damnit.”
>You didn’t even bother zipping yourself back up as you walked home.
>None of the stallions hid their junk, so it wasn’t like you were breaking any indecency laws by waving your full mast around.
>You just wanted to see if anyone would recognize you as a guy for once.

>No one did.

>That night you laid in bed, thinking somber thoughts.
>You entertained the idea of suicide, but that was nothing new for you.
>You’d probably destroyed your friendship with Rainbow.
>You’d need to apologize to her tomorrow if you could.
>Maybe you could play it off as a prank or something.
>You were reminded of that time your buddies put their balls in your mouth while you were sleeping and called you a faggot.
>...
>You dismissed the idea. You weren’t a coward. You weren’t going to pretend what you did was OK.
>You weren’t even sure what possessed you to think it was a good idea.
>You were frustrated…
>But you didn’t think you were in danger of becoming a bitter incel.
“God fucking damnit.”
>You slammed your hand on your nightstand so hard you surely bruised yourself.
“GOD. DAMNIT.”

>You didn’t sleep well that night.

>The next morning you were awoken by a knocking at your door. It was loud and constant, like a woodpecker trying to attack mahogany.
>You stumbled out of your bed in a bleary haze. On your way to the door you tripped on the carpet and slammed into your couch.
>You let out a roar of frustration as the knocking became more insistent.
>You pushed yourself up and slammed open the door.
“WHAT.”
>”Uh, hey, Anon...”, Rainbow said sheepishly.
>In a moment your blood boiled again.
>You tried to calm yourself down by breathing deeply before you responded.
“Yeah. Hi.”
>”I think I owe you an apology. Twilight said-she said you were probably serious when you said you were gay, and I-”
>Before she could finish speaking you tried to slam the door in her face, but her hoof was caught over the threshold.
>Her once apologetic attitude turned fiery as she forced the door open and tackled you to the ground.
>”What is WRONG with you?”, she shouted.
“You are! All of you. I’m going to die alone, and it’s because you fucks are too stupid to understand that I’m a guy.”
>”You keep saying that.”
“I don’t see why I have to keep saying it.” You growled. “And I’m not sure why I even bother anymore.”
>”But you’re not a guy!”
“Fuck you, Rainbow. Fuck you seven ways to hell.”
>Her face scrunched up.
>”Fine. I’ll go along with this fantasy of yours. You’re not gay, you just like mares because you’re a “guy”. Happy now?”
>You pushed her off you and sat up with a grunt.
>You refused to look at her.
>”What? What more do you want?”
>For a moment your anger flared up again, but you let it out with a sigh.
“...Nothing. Everything’s just fine. I don’t even care anymore.”
>...
”I’m sorry. For today. For yesterday. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you.”
>She sat there quietly for a few moments.
>”That… That was pretty gross what you did, yeah...”
>She tapped your shoulder with a hoof.
>”But hey, c’mon. Let’s go do something.”
“Why?”, you asked in a dry tone. “You shouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”
>”Pffft. It’s not the first time a mar-er… someone’s tried to make me look like a faggot, Anon. Don’t worry about it.”
“I feel like one of us is missing the point here, and we’re moving dangerously close to a politically correct dystopia.”
>”Whatever, dude, let’s just get out of here.”

>You never did lose your horse virginity, but you didn’t die alone. You had a pretty good friend by your side through it all, and you supposed that was good enough.